My whole life, I never really had confidence. And the funny thing is I had every reason to. Growing up working class, I came from a great family, was well-liked and had plenty of friends. I was good at sports, art, music, you name it. I was an honor roll student, an All-State runner, earned a Psychology degree from Harvard University and a Masters of Art. I went on to a career in the environmental field and became a senior policy analyst at the U.S. EPA. I got married and had three incredible kids.
But despite ALL of this, I never felt the underlying, all-encompassing sense of self-confidence I thought I should. Many people find this hard to believe when I tell them. I can only imagine that the view is just different looking from the outside in!
While I did have moments of situational confidence, they were fleeting. I was usually able to prepare well enough to go into a test or race feeling strong. But at the end of the day, I'd return to self-doubt. Looking back, what was missing for me was foundational, or what I define as an inherent trust to do or be whatever I wanted to in the world.
It wasn’t until the birth of my first daughter that I started to grow my self-confidence in earnest. Having this beautiful little creature completely dependent on me for guidance and protection inspired me to figure out this whole thing once and for all! So, here I was in my late thirties getting to know myself for the first time by understanding what values matter most to me, what beliefs are limiting me and what perspectives I choose to stand in. I started to define my inner compass and listen to my gut. I learned to silence my inner critics. I felt into self-love and acceptance. And last, I began to get clear on my desires and dreams. It’s amazing what's possible when clarity enters stage right.
In this journey, I've also learned that finding and refining self-confidence is not a goal but an ongoing, lifelong process. I still have times when I don't stand my tallest, but now I have the tools and insight to regain my footing in a flash. Amen to that!
Join me in becoming a Girl on Purpose!