There's so much to talk about...

November 13, 2016

 

Our kids have been on fire lately, continually feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Our 7-year old made it to the NFL's Regional Punt, Pass & Kick Tournament, while our 9-year old dominates on the soccer field every weekend. Our littlest one is competing in his first Kung Fu tournament at age 5. Thinking about this the other day, I realized how the fear part really never does go away, even as adults, and it's all about what you do with that fear that matters. Just last week, I gave my first talk to the National Charity League, sort of a last minute thing, and I was kind of nervous. But beforehand I walked myself through the same six pep-talk steps I do with my kids before they have a game, test, performance or even just an important play date or conversation. Step 1: Notice how you're feeling and normalize it. e.g. Tell yourself, "It's totally normal to feel nervous." Step 2: Remind yourself how you prepared or practiced. In my case, I rehearsed my speech a lot. Sometimes, preparation might just mean you got a good night's sleep. Step 3: Give yourself precise direction of what you should do, not what you shouldn't do. Again in my case, I told myself to smile and connect. You could also say "stay focused" or "stay calm". Step 4: Trouble-shoot potential scenarios to warm up your brain. Step 5: Give yourself a little ego-boost like "You're going to do awesome!" and Step 6: Bring it all back home with some perspective, e.g. "In the end, you're reaching more people every day!" or "all that really matters is that you are loved." I dare you to try these steps on yourself or your daughter for some important, upcoming event in your life. And please let me know how it goes!

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