When Grounding is Good


This past week my son had a playdate at the park with a friend. At one point the friend became unconsolably upset. His mom tried everything to help him, e.g. asking him what's wrong, telling him to shake it off, trying to distract him, etc. etc. But nothing was working. He eventually did snap out of it but we never quite figured out what happened to change his mood so suddenly. As his mom and I chatted, I recalled an important lesson about kids and confidence. And that's grounding. I noticed as she was trying to help her son, he seemed to be leaning in...but she wasn't having it. Her body language was saying "suck it up" sort of speak and move on!

I asked her, "did you consider just giving him a hug to see if that made a difference?" And her reaction was, "oh my gosh, why didn't I think of that?" Sometimes we do forget that a simple hug can do the trick, something like an emotional bandaid or kissing a physical boo boo. But even more importantly, kids need to feel connected to feel confident. We are their main grounding pole, and when attachment is off, they feel unplugged. Hugging and snuggling is often the only thing we need to do for our child in order for them to feel like we "get them" and they can conquer the world.

Teaching your child how to ground him or herself when you're not around is also critical to self-confidence. Please stay tuned for more on this...

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