My "Choose to" Glasses
We've started a new module in our workshops called the Glasses Game and I'm finding myself using it alot with my own kids too. It's about perspective and the many ways we see the world. In the game, girls or mother/daughter pairs take turns telling eachother all about their day. Then they repeat the exercise telling eachother the same exact things but wearing a pair of sunglasses (i.e. their "I choose" glasses) and prefacing each statement with "I choose". The point of the exercise is for them to feel the difference between "having" to do something versus "wanting" to do it. Saying "I choose" before anything instantly feels more fun and light. But more importantly, when we feel like we are making our own choices and decisions, we feel more in control which in turn builds confidence. Point this out to kids and their faces light up.
Inevitably, someone always asks me "but I HAVE to brush my teeth" or "I HAVE to go to school". I don't have a choice! This is when I explain that the choice then is in your attitude. Are you going to brush your teeth thinking "this isn't fair"? or are you going to choose to think "I want to take care of my teeth so I can eat more cookies" (this last thought compliments of my 7-year old!) You always have the power to put on your "I choose" glasses and see things a different way.
Now, when I'm out with my kids running errands, etc. and they're getting kind of antsy, I just ask them to put on their "I choose" glasses and it usually changes everything!