Fear of Rejection

January 18, 2015

Ever since I heard an NPR piece the other day about rejection therapy, I've been dying to write about it. The story detailed one man's journey to overcome his fear of rejection by staring it in the face on a daily basis. Turns out he was practicing what's termed in psychotherapy as exposure therapy. He basically challenged himself to get rejected by another person at least once every day. What he found in the process turned his perception of reality totally on its head by retraining himself to want to be rejected! By doing this with social fears we realize that much of what we're afraid of can't harm us at all and the fears are based on stories we tell ourselves but can choose to no longer listen to. 


I can't help but think of this idea of over-exposure in the context of confidence-building and fear of failure. And how to help our kids see failure as a good thing rather than be destroyed by it. To learn how to be a "loser" in the sense of being able to find the reward in our efforts and not just focus on the result. Because the reality is we're going to technically lose more often in our lives than win, e.g. only one team wins the series, etc. I also re-read a great article the other day about how training our kids to see difficult challenges at school as fun and exciting and easy things as boring will develop their growth mindset. The goal to continuously seek out growth is key to lifelong success no matter what your pursuit. 


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