Like many kids her age, my 6-year old was resisting doing her homework, which she'd characterized as boring with a capital B. So I thought I might try some 'balance coaching' to help her see another side. Balance coaching is when someone stuck in a particular perspective tries viewing an issue through a different lens in hopes of some clarity and forward movement. I use this technique all the time with my clients so I thought, heck why not try it with my kid? So I asked Maggie to tell me about something she enjoys, and she picked a recent play date with a friend. I said "Now tell me what you liked about the play date, as in qualities to describe it." She came up with "fun", "not boring", "having company" and "someone to hang out with when mommy's too busy". I could tell this last one was especially important to her. So then I said, "Well Maggie, what about trying to see your homework as a friend - fun, not boring, having company and someone to hang out with??" And that's just about all it took because she was off and running naming her pencil Writey and her homework Bob. And I kid you not, the following week she completed her homework 2 days early!
Now, with adults, shifting perspective is usually not so quick and easy, although it can be sometimes. The beauty of coaching young children lies in their simplicity and willingness to go with you where ever you try to take them.
Want to balance coach your own kids? All you have to do is ask him/her about something meaningful and then apply those qualities to the issue at hand. Let me know if you try this...I'd love to hear how it went for you!!